There’s really only two things that I need to keep hidden from the public eye: a particular sexual fetish I have, and the fact that I was kinda sorta in a mental hospital for 2 1/2 days. (To clarify: I was in there for threatening suicide, and I am obviously no longer that fucked up.)
I also wouldn’t like certain people to know that I snuck out one night and was brought home in a cop car. However, that’s not something I need to hide from absolutely everyone, just something I’m not going to tell my boyfriend until we’ve been dating for a while. He might get the wrong impression of me, and while I doubt he’d leave me over that, I don’t want him to think less of me.
However, these three things obviously aren’t the core of my being. Two of them are completely in the past, and have nothing to do with who I am now. So, I actually don’t need to hide myself, because the things I have to hide don’t have much to do with who I really am.
I had a few problems going on in my life, but I’m happy to announce that most of them are done now. I’m over my ex, for one. I was dealing with visitation with my emotionally abusive, bi polar mother, but because I was such a bitch the last time I saw her, she decided to terminate visitation with me. I’m not sure if this is permanent or not, but for now, I don’t have to see her once a week - or ever. Score! I actually have some people I care about… I love my dad, my almost-stepmother, my best friend, and I’m pretty close to loving my boyfriend, as well as another close friend of mine. I love my stepmother’s pet dogs, and I love myself. I used to hate myself so much, and while I realize that I’m not the greatest person in the world, I love myself now. I came out of the closet, to my almost-stepfamily and to virtually everyone I knew. (The wonders of Facebook!) There’s only two problems in my life: school, and grandma. School doesn’t start for another month, and once it does, I think I’ll have a much better time there if I simply put myself out there and make a few more friends. Maybe it will become something kind of fun, instead of something to be avoided at all costs. Grandma is a complete and total bitch, but soon, I won’t have to live with her. Well, fairly soon. After the divorce is finalized. In the meantime, I’ll see if I can come up with ways to cope with her bullshit. All in all, I love my life right now, and I’m searching for ways I can make it even better. - Hannah
|—||C.S. Lewis (via thenaptimestates, eunichick) (via latinamericana) (via longlivethequeen) (via knockturn) (via lhdavis) (via trueobsession)|
Mirror, mirror on the wall…